From: Steve & Sally-Anne Alloway [real-entertainment@xtra.co.nz]
Sent: 16 June 2008 00:39
To: Steve & Sally-Anne Alloway
Subject: FW: yachtyakka
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Some of what might you read below is very …..
well
don’t try this at home stuff, thanks rigger.
We were here first!
Check this out
A
French company has taken about 1018 NOAA raster nautical charts (RNC/BSB/KAP
format) and merged them with Google Maps to enable online viewing. -- http://demo.geogarage.com/noaa/
Yachtyakka is collected from
Rigger, PM the Fat
Controller
Don't try it !!!
Great
Mother's Day gift?
Pocket
Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife
a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last
weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my
interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt,
pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short
lived, with no long- term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her
adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO
COOL! Long story
short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in
the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed
it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of
electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately,
I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her
microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?
There I
sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul)
while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try
this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought
about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She
is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to
protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work
as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there
I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched
delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in
another.
The
directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your
assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major
loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your
assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer
than
three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the
while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less
than 3/4 inch in diameter; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy
triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next
is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?
I'm
sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to
say, 'don't do it dipsh*t,' reasoning
that a one second burst from such a tiny little ol' thing couldn't hurt all
that bad. I decided to
give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my
naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .. . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . . WEAPONS OF
MASS DESTRUCTION . . .. WHAT THE HELL!!!
I'm
pretty sure The Hulk ran in through the side door, picked me up in the
recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely
recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body
soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left
arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs?
The cat
was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame
hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed
by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If
you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, one note of caution:
there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will
not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent
thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered
conservative?
A minute
or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I
collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was
upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps,
right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had
been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control
over the drooling.
Apparently
I sh*t myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was
gone. I saw a faint
smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking
for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!!
P. S. My
wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!
A few small adjustments and …………………
Stand by for some simply stunning images from the
other side of the black stump
Are you ready?
Yachtyakka is known for its pictures
Well take a look at these
http://www.rc44.com/en/index.php
I sent this guy an e-mail
The photographer
Thinking, if I can copy these shots
We can get onboard without getting wet
And he replied within a few hours.
He said,”Steve,
Take what you like, credit where you got the images
from and if you like I can send you images without the copyright overlays.”
I replied, no, I like the copyright stuff, shows where
they came from. Just fantastic!!
OK that’s enough for now,,, promise there will be more
later….. but, if you are like Logan and you cant wait click this to your favourites,
but don’t tell anybody,,
Its a secret where you got the link from OK ……wink
wink.. westies from the beach are so last century.
Want to advertise to 20,000 Kiwi yachties every week?
Sponsor a Yachtyakka story theme and support your
sport.
For
Current bid $250,000NZD
Great for a bit of rum racing
2008 WANAKA YACHT & POWER BOAT CLUB
SKI/SAIL REGATTA
28
– 29 - 30. August 2008
28
August 1900 hrs – registration and get together.
29-30
August – Ski and sail races. Prize giving.
REGATTA
SCORE PLUS THE SKI RACE SCORE WILL DETERMINE THE
WINNER.
2008 SKI RACE VENUE -
Competitors
make your way up the mountain and register and receive a bib in
the
café at 8.30am sharp. There will be a welcome and ski briefing at the top of
the
course at 9.30am.
The
course will be such that any intermediate skier or rider will be able to
complete
it.
Your
Snow park lift pass is included in your entry
You must have a pass prior to stepping onto the lift.
Après Ski (location to be advised) Wanaka from 7.00 pm
-------------------MEXICAN THEME----------------------
SAILING VENUE –
There
are a limited number of entries available so it is strictly first come first
served.
All
sailing is to be held under the auspices of - THE WANAKA YACHT AND
POWERBOAT
CLUB INC.
NOTICE
OF RACE will be posted (soon) on the Yachting
Site
http://www.yachtingnz.org.nz
Sailing
will be fleet racing in Etchells yachts (supplied). Crews will be rotated on
the
water. PRIZE GIVING DINNER STARTS AT 1930 HRS
(7.30)
COSTS
$250.00
incl GST PER PERSON,
INCLUDES:
- ALL SAILING COSTS,
EXCLUDES:
- MOUNTAIN TRANSPORT, APRÈS SKI AND PRIZE GIVING
DINNER.
ENTRIES.
TEAMS
OF MINIMUM THREE MUST ENTER UNDER THEIR
CORPORATE
STYLE NAMES AND PAY THE COMBINED FEE PAYABLE
IN
ONE PAYMENT TO WANAKA YACHT AND POWERBOAT CLUB INC.
EITHER
TO CHRIS
OR
MAIL TO
OR
DIRECT CREDIT TO
WANAKA YACHT AND POWERBOAT CLUB INC. 031739 0005357 00
50
ALL PAYMENTS BY THE 8th AUGUST
2008
ENQUIRIES TO CHRIS CONROY 443 8228 0274 888 243
H28 Mid-Winter
Dinner
Saturday 5th
July, 7pm
Sawadee
Thai Cuisine
42A
Ponsonby
We look
forward to having you and
your crew join
us for an evening of fun
and laughter
BOOKINGS
ESSENTIAL
Phone
09 442 2030
Email:
jester1@value.net.nz
ALL WELCOME
Where is this? Simon and Mark and Andy can’t play.
Is Speedboat as quick as this beauty?
Photo Credit: Kurt Arrigo/Rolex
Kiwi yachtsman and one of
Australia's leading businessmen, Neville Crichton, has smashed the race record
in the Rolex Giraglia Race, Europe's answer to the Rolex Sydney to Hobart, by
an outstanding margin of four hours in the super maxi 'Alfa Romeo' at 08.03
European time on Thursday 12 June.
The record he smashed was,
in fact, his own, set back in 2003 in the first generation 'Alfa Romeo' for the
243 mile marathon race from St Tropez to
"I always knew I could
do better than that time back in 2003, but it has taken five years and a new
'Alfa Romeo' to get the right conditions," said Neville Crichton at the
end of the race. "We had a good run all the way to the Giraglia Rock
before parking up for three hours when the wind failed, but unlike previous
years, the wind came back closer to the Italian coast we were able to nail our
original race record and set a new benchmark for the Mediterranean's most
competitive and prestigious off-shore race."
See I’m learning how to hyperlink
Every week I get a 'Keep up the
good' work e-mail from somewhere in the world, and every now and then a cracker
comes in
Enjoy,
seems our taxes are not wasted after all.
Thank
you for the introduction or
... was
it solicitation which after a flirtation with 'past yacht yakka' documentation
left me in consideration of the potential participation that an occasional
dissertation from my active imagination could provide the sailing congregation
with colourful elucidation of XXXXX Sail Training organisation when it comes to
familiarisation on a wobbly foundation that gives some trepidation of off
loading that cold collation whilst learning navigation...enough is enough.
I will in
due course attempt to throw together the odd epistle but ...no promises...work
has become an ogre, my time is chained to a demi god and the race reports are
no more, the poetic prism has lost it's coloured lights and my carbon footprint
is no more than a burnt match...yet, occasionally a glimmer of sun touches my
brow and the fire flickers...
I needed
that! I trust it didn't frighten you, happiness is being a little bit nutty
XXXX
The
XXXXXX Intranet is a controlled site so a lot of stuff doesn't get through the
mail marshall, BUT, I will spread the word through our members and those that
have sailed the XXXXXXX yachts.
Mailmarshall alert word,
nearly forgot.
If you want to unsubcribride, not get it, to
yachtyakka, click here.
1 if you do then I’ll send
2 hes a website, and you know what they are like.
Lockup your nearest and dearest
3 I have to put this stuff in because that bunch
of tossers in Wellington passt a law to say if I don’t they will send me a bad
e-mail and there friends will get upset and sent me a badda one.
Mind you if you don’t want to keep up with the latest
yachting news from around the world and around the corner, then you should
unsubscribe cause I don’t want to waste the paper.
Boo
Happy Sailing
Steve Alloway
Real Entertainment Ltd
Sally-
Ph: (+64 9) 3723411 mob: 021 300300
real-entertainment@xtra.co.nz or
alloway.sa@gmail.com